I was a YouTuber for about 4 years, starting way back “before it was cool” in 2012 and publishing over 500 videos. My content ranged in topic, mostly covering remote controlled cars/aircraft, watch reviews, drone footage and a few cycling videos mixed in with camera gear reviews, PC builds and other videography projects. I was able to fund these projects as a teen thanks to my little drone business.
Despite modest success in attracting viewers, I realize how YouTube became a social media obsession for me. I was hooked in a loop of creating new content, hustling for views and grinding through packages of new stuff. Any time I went out to fly or use whatever I had built, I always had the added stress of “I have to record this for my channel”, instead of simply enjoying the moment.
Genuinely, I think oversharing about all my RC adventures over these years added to my eventual loss of interest in the hobby itself. I churned through so many contraptions to make new content that I undermined my ability to just fly and enjoy it. Everything was a show. The camera was always on. I played my role as pilot, technician, businessman, and uploader.
One thing left the table to be sold and another was unboxed, filmed, tested, reviewed. I even coordinated with sponsors to do giveaways. I compared myself to other YouTubers and watched my channel’s analytics stats page far too often.
I now recognize that much of this was escapism from my daily life and social anxieties, and unfortunately it only kicked the can further down the road because I didn’t know how to tackle the root cause of them. I found purpose in fighting at the YouTube grind, similar to how people obsess over Instagram or TikTok.
I loved my hobbies, don’t get me wrong, this was a passion project, but it snowballed into an unhealthy obsession.
I churned out content many nights and never thought twice about it. I shot videos solo. I brought my cameras, gear, and the background mental haze of a couple thousand invisible viewers and the infinite potential to gain a wider audience. I acted, bought, sold, reviewed, updated, answered comments, optimized titles, analyzed it all…
Producing a steady stream of YouTube videos was a distraction and bandaid over my social problems, and not time well spent as a teen. It became obsessive as I made it into a competition to produce content, and skewed my social life away from the real world. Sure, there are time wasters worse than this, and YouTube not only let me flex my creative muscles, but also form some internet friendships (albeit mostly older folks in the RC hobby).
But this was the time in my life to make friends in person, from my own generation. I used YouTube as a high-velocity content distraction to occupy my mind and forget about school, and that snowballed over time. I was disengaged from many of the social opportunities that were right in front of me in person and opted to stay in my parasocial-esque bubble online.
And so I found myself in a self-reinforcing loop where I had fewer friends in-person to engage with about things we did in real life, so I leaned further into my internet bubble and missed out on in-person social opportunities.
This feedback loop sucks! And it is everywhere now!
A snapshot from a solo YouTube video adventure. I spent time alone with a tripod, recording my bike ride down this dirt road and edited it to some music. I was 15 at the time.
In moderation, YouTube was an excellent creative endeavour and outlet to get my mind off school, but it is sad to look back at 500 videos – hours and hours of me talking to a camera – during this time of my life. If I were to go back in time I would keep my hobbies but reduce my YouTube hours. I would try to break out of my shell during school or find mentorship that could help me do that, instead of leaning into my hidden world on the internet. The friends I could have made and the experiences I could have had would be much greater than any number of subscribers or views.
Hindsight is 20/20 of course, and I did engage some in after school activities on campus like robotics club, had a girlfriend and went through regular teen development. As a family we were isolated and introverted, so YouTube helped me make the best of my time at home too (especially during summers). This post isn’t meant to be hyperbolic or stop anyone from doing YouTube in moderation, but warn against falling into the trap of hyperfocusing on churning out content under the allure of “growth” or “fame” as a young content creator.
It has been a decade, and I still look back on my YouTube time and wince at my own obsession with it. When Instagram really took off, I already had the experience to understand how easy it would be to get addicted to it, and I knew I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice!
Daniel